there are different cultures including greek and Hispanic that believe (or so people have been telling me) that once a person passes, their soul sticks around those that they love for 40 days and then on that day, the soul goes on to heaven...
today is the 40th day...can you believe it?
sometimes I still cannot believe he is gone...six weeks tomorrow and yet, I still think he will be walking in the door at any time...I am sure that it will hit at some point that he is really gone, but not yet...
a certain picture just takes my breath away and the tears immediately follow...wow...I sure wish I had known how bad it really was towards the end...I know what matters is that the 2nd to the last day I was able to say that I loved him and he said it in return but I will have regrets for the rest of my life...
the last couple of months I was more of a mother to him, trying to get him well and to do the right thing...did he need a mother or did he want a wife more? he was so stubborn but oh.my.goodness I sure hope he knew how much we loved him and needed him...
so for the 40th day and since it was also our anniversary Tim. Sam, Zoie and I let 4 red heart balloons go to the sky last night with messages for him...
when he looks down upon us now, I hope he is proud of our little family we created and sees how difficult it is without him but we are trying our very best to write the next chapter of our lives...
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