another Saturday

I hate Saturdays...it will forever be etched into my brain exactly what we were doing 8 weeks
ago (can you believe it has been that long?  already...) today...

I held your hand and looked into your eyes, said it would be OK and I knew when you let go of my hand...that is what my brain remembers...

every Saturday at 10:40 we stop and think of you and remember what we were doing at that time...

2 months today...how can that be?  especially when everything reminds me of you and I think of you constantly...my heart is so broken, I cannot imagine how anything will ever be all right again...

I love you and miss you so very much...

missing you immensley

today was particularly bad for me...tears freely flowed...everything I saw and heard reminded me of you...
the toliet overflowed and you would have know what to do, I did not...
we went to the mall and mongolian BBQ reminded me that that was one of your favorite places to eat, even though you hated the mall...
songs, tv, everything today remended me how much I miss you...

I went to Marie Callendar's, and although you hated it there, the young kid that checked me out, it was his last day working he was to check into basic training for Marines int he next 2 days...I told him you would have been proud of him...


today I received a letter addressed to the widow of Ross Gregory Guy and that is the first time I have been addressed as such...it took my my breath away and made my heart actually hurt...

I miss you so so much and although I know you are in a better place and longer hurting or tired, I am being selfish and want you here with me...

I love you so much and miss you...do not know how to go on...I feel so guilty going on without you...it saddens me to appear to be having fun or going on with life without you...

RIP my dear husband